Before I get started, I wanted to say: Sorry this is a day late. For those of you keeping up with my Thursday blogs, yesterday was crazy and I didn't get a chance to post my weekly blog. So here it is! A day late, but still awesome. Be sure to check back next week for part two of my "Words Words Words" post. It's going to be epic! Whew... here we go:
This season has been all about the new.
New music, new look, new hair, new tax bracket, new me. Over the last few months I've had several moments of revelation while pondering the connections between my thoughts and words, and the way my life is going. I talked in my last post about how important the words we speak about ourselves are because they can literally shape our lives. In this process, I decided to release some old bad habits (cough, not going to the gym and eating lots of cookies), and replace them with the ones that are true to my new self.
I believe the future "me" is always the new and improved version of the current "me." One of my favorite bible verses says that God is always moving us "from glory to glory." Always becoming. Always getting better. Always moving from glory to glory. Another says that he calls us "A new creature." I love that!
I am not the old me. I am new. I am not my past or my mistakes or where I come from. I am new. Every. Single. Day. New blessings. New opportunity for growth. New.
Do you ever feel like theres a "you" that you can see in your minds eye, waiting to be created? Becoming great, in my opinion, begins with being able to picture yourself doing everything you want to do, and actively pursing the person you want to be.
I use the visualization technique a lot. I learn so much from watching that girl that I see in my minds eye. She is someone I can admire. She is someone that would make the childhood me proud. Visualization is awesome because it forces me to start thinking about what in my current life has to change to become her.
During my visualization, I ask questions about her. What is she afraid of? How does she carry herself? How does she dress? What is her identity? How does she respond to conflict? And then the big one, What do I need to do to become all of those things?
The thing that drives and inspires me the most isn't competition with others. It's competition with myself. All I want is to become the greatest version of "me" possible. How do I do that?
In my personal prayer time one of the practical things that I realized I needed to do was to make space for the new.
So... I cleaned the entire house. I got rid of everything I don't use. I went through every item of clothing I have and got rid of everything that doesn't represent where I'm going (my closet is almost empty! Thank God for Poshmark). I sold my old music equipment and am investing the money into better music equipment. I got a new phone. I deleted some old contacts that were better left in my past. I even got rid of my car.
Heres my favorite thing that I did: I forgave.
Oh, I went there.
LETS GET REAL FOR A SECOND.
I had a realization that it would be nearly impossible for me to receive new people into my life if I hadn't fully let go of the old ones. I realized that the same patterns would keep repeating and I would keep choosing the same kind of people until I completely released the mindset that got me the wrong kind of people in the first place.
So, I literally sat on my floor for about two hours one night and forgave everyone I could think of that I had any kind of anger with. I'm talking from childhood until now.
I spoke it all out loud (see last blog post for why this matters). I said out loud "I forgive XXXXX. I speak blessings and joy over them. I speak awakening and hope and prosperity over them. I release every ounce of anger and unforgiveness I may be holding toward them weather conscious or unconscious, and I receive peace and joy in its place."
Now I know, for some people, this isn't just something you can sit down and do so easily. A lot of us have been SERIOUSLY wronged. And sometimes we end up believing that if we choose to forgive them, it somehow invalidates our pain or what they did wrong. But forgiveness isn't for them. It's for us. We punish ourselves by holding on to anger and bitterness and it eats us up inside. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. And honestly, for some of the people on my list, I've had to forgive them out loud to myself zillions of times. I've had to speak out the pain, say what they did, comfort myself and remind myself that yes it was wrong, and then speak forgiveness. I don't give up on forgiving them because it's not for them. It's because I don't deserve to feel pain over someone that feels nothing toward me.
I also forgave.... MYSELF.
I think we forget how much we hold against ourselves. Taking some time to think about it and verbally forgive yourself can be SO powerful.
Anyway, that night I had the CRAZIEST dream. It's pretty graphic so I won't share here, but basically my body and soul was completely cleansed and purified in the dream. It was pretty powerful, which makes me think that that whole speaking out loud thing is real for me.
I think making space in your life for the new by getting rid of the old is one of the most amazing things you can do to let God/the universe and also yourself know that you're ready to receive new and more.
And here's the wildest part of this whole thing. More has come. It's really working and becoming tangible for me. My vision of who I am becoming keeps getting clearer.
How do you feel about all this loves? Share and let me know!
Love and blessings,